Is it wrong that you want someone to like you? Not entirely! It’s a very natural emotion! And when we talk about God being the author of romance as we did in week one of The Naked Truth series, we talked about how God gave us those feelings of attraction and a desire for a relationship. So inherently it is not wrong and we don’t want to go beating ourselves up for it, BUT it is really important to ask yourself some questions to determine if it is a healthy feeling or not.
So the question we need to ask ourselves is: “why do I want someone to like me?” Are you wanting someone to like you because you think it will make you feel valuable? Because you feel lonely? Because your friends all have someone who likes them and you don’t want to be left out?
If the answer is yes, don’t be discouraged, but understand that those feelings do not get fulfilled by being liked by another person. They are much deeper rooted feelings and having someone like you is just a surface solution. So we need to get to the root of it.
If you want someone to like you for the validation that you are likable or worthy, it’s so important to know that the one person who deserves to tell you your worth is God. He created you (Psalm 139), he loves you (Romans 8:35-39), and he calls you his child (2 Corinthians 6:18). Until we understand what God thinks of us, no human validation will ever be enough.
If you want someone to like you because you feel lonely and desire a relationship, this also isn’t a terrible emotion, but at this stage in our lives, a relationship with our family and friends will meet that sense of needing people more than a romantic relationship will. A romantic relationship can be unsteady and may not last, so find people who will be with you for the long term and invest in those relationships first!
If you want someone to like you because all your friends are liked by someone, it’s important that we check our hearts for jealousy and know that we don’t have to fall into the pressure of liking someone or dating just because others are. We each are living out our own stories and these things come differently for different people, but each story is fantastic and can be celebrated!
Know that you are so loved by God! There is a community of people around you that want to invest in you and who you get to invest in! And if you allow him, God is going to write your story the perfect way for you!